Usually one service a month I make sure the schedule allows me to attend the “adult service” in church. This past Sunday, 2nd service, was my “off” Sunday. I was really looking forward to a nice relaxing service…added bonus was my hubby was going to service with me…usually he’s needed in kids church or is helping run sound. On a side note, hubby and I have been “getting by” with a crazy, opposite schedule the past few months. Honestly if it weren’t for church events we’d only see each other a few hours a week. We also haven’t been in a church service together since October…other than when we’re both working in kids’ church on the same day. So this was A BIG DEAL!
2nd service started and half of the nursery workers did not show up – vital people that are needed to help create a safe, fun and relaxing environment for parents to drop off their children and a place for children to learn age-appropriate lessons about God. As I was trying to find replacement workers quickly, more and more little kids were arriving. Our tiny little rooms were bursting with adorable little kids - yippee. Praise the Lord for willing hearts to step up and help, so the classrooms were taken care of. When hubby and I were finally able to get into service the preaching was half over. Hubby ended up going back to hang out in kids church and I periodically went to make sure things were running smoothly in the nurseries (they were). I was disappointed that I missed most of Pastors message, but had a job to do. I finally sat down in service, as the message was ending, thankful that we have worship at the end. Music really ministers to me, I’m a horrible singer, but the words in songs usually lift me up, encourage me, help me to pray and sometimes minister to others. I stood in the back of service worshipping my heart out to my Jesus!
Eventually I went to the alter and poured my heart out to Jesus, not realizing how much anger, resentment and hurt I had been holding in…mostly at situations that are out of my control…and forgiving the people in my life..as well as myself. I forgave my husband for losing his job 16 months ago (not his fault), forgave him for never being home because he took a part-time job that are the exact opposite hours of mine (only job he’s been offered)….forgave myself for being a control freak and wanting to control everything and everyone around me. It was such a freeing moment and such a joy to leave it all at Jesus’ feet and walk away whole and clean. While I was praying, crying and worshipping I got the vision of our hearts as a colander (strainer). We’re supposed to let Jesus wash us from the inside out…but pass on that love, acceptance, forgiveness, etc to others around – not hold on to those blessings for ourselves. We’re supposed to let hurt, anger, bitterness, frustration, sadness gush out of our heart and not hold onto those feelings….leaving the good stuff behind. It was such a clear picture that 3 days later I can’t get it out of my mind. I’ve spent some time looking at verses on the word “heart” to help me better explain this, using God’s Word. Below are a few verses. My prayer is that my heart will be a colander and let nothing bad stay in, that Gods’ love and mercy will wash it all away and I can in turn show that same love and mercy to others.
“I do not hide your righteousness in my heart; I speak of your faithfulness and salvation. I do not conceal your love and your truth from the great assembly.”
Psalm 40:10
"Even now," declares the LORD, "return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning." Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity.”
Joel 2:12-13
“... wash the evil from your heart and be saved.”
Jeremiah 4:14
“I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the LORD. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart.”
Jeremiah 24:7
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